Enough with all this "lift" and stall/spin nonsense...

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Dana

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No, no, no, you're both wrong!

Lift is caused by Lift Demons. These little, invisible demons hold on to the leading and trailing edges of the aircraft and lift it into the air by flapping their wings (so, in a reductionist sense, lift is actually caused by feathers). Some of the demons are a little confused and they hold on backwards, causing drag. The reason that planes stall at high alpha is that the leading edge demons get scared and let go when they can't see the ground anymore. Lift demons have good taste and don't like to look at ugly aircraft, so they hold on backwards on ugly planes. That's why gliders have so much lift and so little drag and why F-4s have lots of drag. This, however, did not address what gives lift to the Lift Demons' wings. It turns out that lift demon's wings have feathers. The multiple filaments on feathers trap the air molecules and they struggle to escape, which causes the action-reaction that we call lift. Bat wings don't have feathers but they're hairy and that works just about as well (air molecules are a little claustrophobic).

Because Lift demons hold on backwards on ugly planes to avoid looking at the planes, drag can be calculated using CDU (Coefficient of Drag due to Ugliness) used in correlating aircraft ugliness against Lift Demons' unwillingness to hold on forwards and provide lift.

It was originally believed that Lift Demons got their lift from smaller Lift Demons whose lift was, in turn, produced by even smaller Lift Demons leading to the "Infinite Demons Theory" as proposed by the great Greek philosopher-scientist Miasma. However, with the revival of scientific knowledge that eventually ended the Dark Ages, it was realised that this situation unresolvable according to Zeno's paradox. The "Infinite Demons Theory" works in many problems of engineering significance, however, real understanding requires that the ether be introduced into the analysis at some point. The "Ether Concept" explains why planes fly more efficiently at higher altitudes. This is an absolute necessity when studying orbital and interplanetary travel where, it is believed, many of the Lift Demons are unable to breathe.

(author unknown)

-Dana
 

BBerson

Light Plane Philosopher
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I was thinking of voting for Dana as current forum expert based on readability... But then I read his last post:ponder:
 

Monty

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If only you knew where I first heard that wisecrack, you would not be giving me any grief. ;)
I don't care if it was Burt Rutan, Kelly Johnson or Ed Heinemann.....You made the post.

Chris Heintz and I share a different aesthetic sense, however-If one were to compare the number of flying aircraft I designed vs, the number of flying aircraft Chris designed.......and built.......I would be on the loosing end.
 

SVSUSteve

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Evansville, Indiana
I don't care if it was Burt Rutan, Kelly Johnson or Ed Heinemann.....You made the post.

Chris Heintz and I share a different aesthetic sense, however-If one were to compare the number of flying aircraft I designed vs, the number of flying aircraft Chris designed.......and built.......I would be on the loosing end.
Get over yourself. I am proud to count both Chris and his son as friends (not terribly close ones but still). If you think that was "insulting" you should hear some of the things I have said about the cockpit structure of their aircraft.


While I respect Chris' designs especially from an aerodynamic standpoint, the difference is that I don't believe anyone's designs- yours, mine, Heintzi, Rutan, etc- is beyond reproach. That's the difference between respect and blind worship. Professionals want those who are critical of their work around because it keeps one honest and striving to improve. Only shallow insecure folks are bothered by a dissenting opinion or good natured ribbing. If someone surrounds themselves with sycophantic followers willing to fellate them at any opportunity, they are the only thing sadder than the sycophants themselves.
 

Monty

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Get over yourself. I am proud to count both Chris and his son as friends (not terribly close ones but still). If you think that was "insulting" you should hear some of the things I have said about the cockpit structure of their aircraft.


While I respect Chris' designs especially from an aerodynamic standpoint, the difference is that I don't believe anyone's designs- yours, mine, Heintzi, Rutan, etc- is beyond reproach. That's the difference between respect and blind worship. Professionals want those who are critical of their work around because it keeps one honest and striving to improve. Only shallow insecure folks are bothered by a dissenting opinion or good natured ribbing. If someone surrounds themselves with sycophantic followers willing to fellate them at any opportunity, they are the only thing sadder than the sycophants themselves.
So let's see your design........
 

Detego

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May 29, 2012
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North America
... I don't believe anyone's designs - mine - is beyond reproach.
... Professionals want those who are critical of their work around
... shallow insecure folks are bothered by a dissenting opinion
... If someone surrounds themselves with sycophantic followers
... they are the only thing sadder than the sycophants themselves.

Show me one drawing of your design; 'anything' representing your design, even if hand drawn with crayon.
I wish to critique and not be that sycophantic follower.


number-one-fan-hand-on-black-checkered-web-icon-thumb11389007.jpg









“I don't care what you think unless it is about me.” - Kurt Cobain
 

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