Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
Don't bother toting empty beer cans to the recycling depot. Just flatten them and apply rivets until they look like an airplane.The guy's mistake was to buy his beer in a bar/pub/estaminet. If he'd been using his head, buy beer in a can, save the cans, sell the cans, invest the can money in airplane supplies. Crisis averted.